i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
