Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
