so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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