your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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