the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
