remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This baby is an asshole
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
