It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
