so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
