Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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