everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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