Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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