so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Farmville is her only friend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
