I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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