i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
