Your dad touched me again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
