id be glad to
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
