He asked to "fluff my boner.."
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
