I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
