It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
