I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
