tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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