Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
