I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
