Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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