a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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