ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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