I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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