I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
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