definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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