I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
