wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
