He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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