your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
