So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
