I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
