Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
