I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
