It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
