I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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