I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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