8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
