Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
