I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
