um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
