On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
