Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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