the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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