let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
