if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
