shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
